Friday, 11 September 2009

Beware of Custard Creams!!

I've just read this article 'Named: the UK's deadliest biscuit' on the internet.  A research company has done some very "valuable research" into which biscuit is most likely to cause someone an injury during a tea or coffee break. 

Here are some of the injuries they came across:
  • people poking themselves in the eye with a biscuit
  • falling off a chair while reaching for the biscuit tin
  • sustaining burns after dunking a biscuit in scalding tea
  • being hit by fragments flying through the air
  • choking on crumbs
  • damaging a tooth or filling on a hard biscuit
  • and one person managed to get stuck in wet concrete after wading in to pick up a stray biscuit!
How dumb do you have to be to poke yourself in the eye with a biscuit?  As for falling off a chair while reaching for the biscuit tin, that's just laziness.  Sustaining burns when dunking biscuits, did these people reach into the mug of boiling hot tea with their hands, to retrieve a piece of biscuit that'd fallen off mid-dunk?  And look out for those fragments flying through the air, just imagine the terrible injuries you could get from biscuit crumbs.  Choking on crumbs and damaging a tooth or filling are the only reasonable injuries on the list.  I can only hope that this one person that managed to get stuck in wet concrete, was trying to remove the stray biscuit because it had ruined the freshly laid concrete, and not to eat it.


Fifteen types of biscuit were tested on their physical properties, along with aspects of their consumption such as 'dunkability' and 'crumb dispersal'.  They then compiled a list of 'riskiest biscuits' with a 'danger rating' from their tests.  To see the list click hereCustard Creams have been discovered to be the riskiest with a danger rating of 5.64!  The least dangerous is the Jaffa Cake with a rating of 1.16.  But is the Jaffa Cake a biscuit or a cake?  The name suggests cake but that's not where you'd find it in the supermarket, no, Jaffa Cakes hang out with the dangerous biscuits.


So the next time you reach for a biscuit on your tea break, think twice, are you going to risk the deadly Custard Cream or play it safe with a harmless Jaffa Cake?  Thanks to this valuable research you can now save yourself from a terrible biscuit related injury - money well spent obviously!   

4 comments:

Laura said...

Ha! Whatever next? I shall have to watch myself with my 11 o'clock Bourbon - who knows what might happen!

Ah - the old Jaffa Cake conundrum. I don't care what it is - it's nice!

Poking yourself in the eye with a biscuit? Really? Garibaldis will come with free safety goggles before long .....

Laura x

Caroline B said...

Hi Jessica - thanks for popping by my blog! So glad I read this, I had no idea I was in so much peril during elevenses.....

Pattie said...

OH MY!
I couldn't stop laughing lol

That is crazy, and I'm eating some now...bess watch out lol

Alice said...

Terrible things can happen on a coffee break. Terrible things.
Great blog, by the way, I'm following

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